His Grace My Testimony
Run-in for my life
to weak to fight
I’m not strong enough
Go’n through my head
But someth’n deep inside
Will not hide
Won’t give up
I must fight instead
Pain and grief never comes at times when we are ready. They come at the most unexpected times. I laid my head down to rest one Sunday evening with hopes to awake to another day as a freshman in high school. Instead, when I opened my eyes, standing before me was a familiar face. With a look of rage in his eyes I asked, “what’s wrong, where’s mama?” He replied, “be quiet and take your underwear off or I will stab you like I did her.” Fear gripped me, I began to tremble and silently pray, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, help me please.” I couldn’t move I was afraid. So he forcefully took the blood cover knife in his right hand and cut them away. Exposing my innocence he began to have his way with me. Growing frustrated with his attempts of rape he became angry and gouged the knife into the side of my neck. The fight began. I pulled at his hand forcing him to release the knife from my neck. The blood poured out of the wound. I gasped for breath choking on the blood I swallowed. We struggled as I tried to escape my bedroom and head for the door. Hitting me repeatedly with his fist in my face and he stabbed me again several times more. I grew weak unable to fight anymore. “JESUS”, I cried. Instantly, I could feel the presence of the Lord rush in like a mighty wind. The power of his presence caused my attacker to fall weak. He tied me up with a telephone extension chord and forced me into the bathroom. I was left to die. There I laid a frail thirteen year old girl covered in blood from thirteen stab wounds after being beaten beyond recognition at the hands of my mother’s husband. What had just happened? Where are my mother and my little brother?
The room grew silent. There was no movement is the house. Tears poured from my eyes. I was helpless, hopeless and afraid to move. Then a quiet still voice spoke in the silence. “Get up my child.” I was so afraid. I was afraid to move, afraid to leave my place of safety in the bathroom. Deep on the inside of me I found the strength and courage to stand to my feet. I took one look in the mirror and discovered that I needed help. I was bleeding to death, from many places. The girl I once recognized I could no longer see. My eyes and mouth were swollen I could not speak. I took scissors, from the medicine cabinet to protect myself just in case my attacker returned. Then I proceed to the door. I took a deep breath and opened the door. The house was dark my sight was limited. All I could trust was the hand of God to lead me. I moved to the kitchen and turned on all of the lights and grabbed the biggest knife I could find. Then I turned to head down the hall towards the door. It was so dark I could not find the light switch. As I passed the first room I feared that he was still there waiting for me to pass so that he could make sure I was dead. I kept moving towards the door. My heart pounding the door seemed so far away. Finally I made it and grabbed the door handle, but before I could leave the house I saw my mother lying dead wrapped in a blanket. I ran for my life to the home of a neighbor. I pounded on the door unable to yell. A woman appeared. “JESUS,” she said, " baby what happened to you,” I was safe. She took me in called emergency services and wrapped me in blankets to stop the bleeding until EMS arrived.
Seven days later, after being in the protective care at Children’s Hospital I was released to my family. My life had changed, I was motherless, but Jesus. I often asked God why. Why did He allow me to live and my mother to die? I had to discover why. My life was spared for a reason. I had to discover the destiny and purpose that was on the inside of me that only Jesus could help me to see. My relationship with Jesus became my reason for living. I had to learn what it means that Jesus would be a mother to the motherless and a father to the fatherless. I had to learn what it means that there is a balm in Gilead. I had to learn what it means that there could never be a friend like Jesus would be. I had to discover that Jesus would be all that I would ever need, and I did.
Today I sing, I write and I share my story of the saving and healing power of Jesus Christ. During my attack the stab wound I endured in my neck left me with internal bleeding and a nicked jugular vein. The surgeons said that I would need emergency surgery to stop the bleeding and repair the vein. They said I would not be able to speak and my face would be distorted from the damage that would be done to the nerves in my neck, but Jesus. He had another plan for my life. He had a purpose for me. Plan’s to prosper me and to give me a hope for my future. He had an expected end for me that was not on December 6, 1992. I have found that life has the ability to leave us with a tremendous amount of bumps, bruises and scars that can often leave us wounded in areas we cannot see. But, if we will allow Jesus to be our protector, guide, deliverer, healer, father and mother, He will give us the strength to endure until the end and we will all walk in our destiny and purpose.
Added: 33 days ago by
Spirit
Time: 04:58
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